Occasionally it appears that civilization has arrived ahead of time. Time saving gimmicks often don’t and quick fix solutions oftentimes aren’t. The United States government expended hundreds of thousands of dollars formulating a pen that would write in space. The Russians employed a pencil. Recently I purchased a fancy leaf blower/vacuum for the terrace. Before long my mitts smelled similar to gasoline, I no longer can fit my automobile in the garage and the cat bears a permanent noise hang-up. Therefore I sold it to my neighbor for $50.00 (Orig. $300.) and purchased a broom. It works fine.

The interior vacuum cleaner came with a hard floor attachment that demands a Massachusetts Institute of Technology mastermind to assemble. Whirlpools of fizz spewed forth like Niagra Falls, blending with the cat hairs, dust balls and splattered food. It required two hours to disassemble, clean it, and re-install it upon the garage ledge where it belongs. Then I placed a rag on a stick and tidied up in ten minutes. The flooring seems great and I get to use the rag again and again - free of charge.

One day my wife could not resist purchasing a food chopper for $29.95. The images depict heaps of colorful veggies sliced and available for cooking. Trying it out, an onion vanished into its hole, and was promptly reduced to a mass of nasty goo with a ragged ball in the center. Next, a potato, as if by magic, transformed into liquid accompanied by an apple entwined with unpalatable seeds and mutilated peel.

After one gash on a digit of each hand ( I vow I simply bumped the blade gently), I somehow got it into the unconventional box and returned it the same day. Keeping an eye on this debacle was my grandmother who snidely advised I use the paring knife she gave us twenty years ago. She was correct.

Have you ever succumb to the siren song of the seed catalogue and the images on the seed bundles at the store? Once you add up the price of seed, plant food, chicken wire fencing material, tools and bribe money to your children for weeding, the number is distributing. Then again, twelve gigantic tomatoes, ten green peppers, ten pounds of onions and a big bagful of green beans cost merely $30.00. I know you can’t buy time, but it certainly is easy to waste it.

One modernistic invention used by millions of folks is the computer printer. In five years the cost for a high-end printer has gone down from $400. To $60. What they don’t tell you that a week’s printing will consume the original ink cartridges. A new set will be over $90. Every week. It’s like purchasing a car for $10,000 and spending $15,000 a week on gas to get to work.

Every car owner is confronted each day by advertisements for magic scratch removers, fancy car wash formulas and brushes, wheel cleansers, and dash panel renewers. None of these products function as well as a pail of H2O with an ounce of dish soap and a rag. I own a heap of rags.

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