Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …

Okay, so some teams want to bring their own food … And some elite long-distance runners don’t wanna run outdoors in the polluted air … And the monks are mad in Tibet … And the torch relay is a daily disaster … Other than that, the Beijing Olympics are in great shape. Just super, thanks for asking. You know, at this point, the only thing worse would be letting Jar Jar Binks light the torch. I got a bad feeling about this.

You can’t have it both ways, Roy. This is big time college basketball. You can’t get rock-chalked into bolivian against your old gig, Kansas, on Final Flop, I mean, Final Four Saturday and then wear a Jayhawk decal on your shirt two days later. Trying to make everybody like you is a noble goal, Roy, but it’s mission impossible. Just ask your revered mentor, Dean Smif. And if he won’t tell you, then I will … Once you leave a no place like home like Kansas, you can’t go back. Just like those first half timeouts you didn’t call … Once you sit on ‘em, they’re puff daddy forever and ever, amen.

Welcome to the 2008 NFL Draft of Mock Drafts … With the first pick, Miami selects Mel Kiper Jr’s mock draft. Mel’s ESPN.com mock draft is well-analyzed, has good depth and balance and ran the mock 40 in a blistering 4.27 mock seconds. Picking second, the Rams select the mock draft of SI.com’s Don Banks. Don’s mock set a new combine record with 34 mock bench reps but his three-page web format with 1-10, 11-20 and 21-32 navigation buttons caused his mock stock to drop just a bit. At the third pick, we have a trade. The Patriots trade their No. 7 mock draft pick (obtained last year from San Francisco) plus their own 3rd round mock draft pick plus a 2009 5th round mock draft pick to the Falcons for their No. 3 mock draft pick this year. The Falcons, of course, are in a major rebuilding mode and need the extra mock draft picks. The Patriots then make a surprise pick taking Chris Steuber’s mock draft from Scout.com. The up-and-coming Steuber was on no one’s mock draft of Draft of Mock Drafts until just a few days ago but now here his mock is the impressive choice of the defending AFC champs. Well done, Chris.

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Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …
 
This is a sad time in sports.  It always is when a true legend retires.  A genuine icon, worshipped by millions of adoring fans, an inspiration to future generations, a champion through and through, a shining example of all that’s right and good in the wide wide world of sports.  Not to mention the most hypnotic eyes since Bette Davis and a pair of legs that would stop an ambulance driver.  Sigh … You will be missed, Katarina Witt.
 
You see what I did there ???  You thought I was talking about Brett Favre, right ???  Yep, the man with the backward consonants has packed it in too.  After 17 years as King of the Cheese, ol’ Sheriff Brett has packered up his bags and headed home to Mississippuh.  A very strange decision by His Gunslingerness.  Favre hung around waiting for the suits to churn the Pack roster from old and slow over to young and frisky … At which very point he bailed saying he was tired, just tired, just really tired.  Hell, Brett, the entire NFL is tired in March.  Even the fans are tired.  Wake me up when September ends.  

If you think one and a half billion Chinese could care less, then you haven’t seen the X-rays of Houston Rockets center Yao Ming’s foot.  Chairman Yao has a stress fracture and months of rehab before the Beijing Olympics start later this summer.  It’s not like there was any pressure on Yao or anything.  Oh no, there’s nothing expected of the most famous athlete in the world’s most populous country in the event they’ve lusted after for decades.  Nope, no pressure at all.  Heal fast, Yao.  Heal really fast.

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Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …
 
The US Olympic Committee recently announced that, due to food safety concerns, our Olympic athletes will not be eating the food supplied in Beijing by this summer’s host, the Chinese.  Instead, USOC will ship, store, prepare and serve its own meals at the team’s training tables.  Naturally, China is a little miffed at this decision but so far there’s been no confirmation of rumors that General Tso is now refusing to make his chicken or that Happy Family will be moved from Column A to Column B on menus in the Village.  Also left unsaid is whether the Chinese will follow through on their threat to have US fortune cookies changed from “You will achieve your goal” to ”You will lose in your event”.

From our “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” Department, the National Football League gave in last week to pressure from church groups and will now allow religious organizations to throw Super Bowls parties and show the big game live on big screen TV’s.  Previously, the league insisted that their copyright stopped anyone but sports bars from showing it on large screens but now any church used on a “routine and customary” basis can show the Supe to its own flock too.  So get ready for a flood of biblical proportions … The Church of My Next Door Neighbor’s Living Room … The Church of the Holy Bean Dip … The Church of St Vincent of Lombardi … The Church of the 16.7 Million Colors At 1920×1080 Pixel Resolution.

We have a new hero and his name is Keith Van Horn, forevermore an inspiration to all of us.  You see, because of salary cap rules, NBA trades have become so complicated and so convoluted that teams often have to include dead money just to make the numbers add up.  Van Horn retired two years ago but never filed his paperwork … And the only way his last team, the Mavericks, could trade with the Nets for Jason Kidd last week was to include Van Horn in the deal.  Which is why Keith Van Horn inked a $4,000,000 contract to get on a plane to New Jersey, take a physical and then fly back home to resume not playing basketball.  So why is he a hero ???  Simple.  Next time Mrs Van Horn tells Keith he can’t expect to get paid just to sit around the house all day doing nothing, all Keith has to say is … Au contraire, my dear, au contraire.

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