Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …
 
The Pro Bowl … One group of really good pro football players wearing funny uniforms and their own helmets beat the other group of really good pro football players wearing funny uniforms and their own helmets.  Click.  And that’s a wrap on the 2007 National Football League season.  Now bring on the silly season … The combine, free agency, salary caps, the draft, minicamps, training camps … And then finally blessed September.  Sigh, it’s gonna be a long summer.
 
Okay, now this steroids thing has gone too far … Now Brian NcNamee claims he injected Debbie Clemens, Roger’s wife, with HGH too.  So that she could look good in her bikini for a section of the 2003 SI Swimsuit Issue featuring jock husbands and their wives.  Look, it’s one thing to chemically alter baseball history and the record book but the sacred swimsuit issue is off limits.  We, as sports fans, must insist on the integrity of our artificially lit, carefully posed and meticulously airbrushed cheesecake.  I mean, what’s next, did Mrs Roger go to a tanning salon too ???  I’m telling you, this will not stand.
 
Didja hear about this kid who faked his own recruiting story ???  Last week, in front of a packed gym, Kevin Hart, a 6-5, 290 pound offensive lineman from Fernley High School in Fernley, NV, announced he had chosen … drum roll, please … Cal over Oregon.  TV cameras, cheerleaders, friends and family, coaches and teammates, they were all there for Hart’s dramatic announcement.  Only problem was Cal hadn’t recruited him.  Neither had Oregon.  No one had.  Not even the University of Nevada just a 30 minute drive away.  Of course the kid was embarrassed once the truth came out but maybe there’s a bright side … I mean, hey, as long as Ohio State keeps sending fake teams to BCS title games, he’ll have a place to play.

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Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …

Ain’t no flies on Looziana State, winner of the BCS Champeenship Game over *The* Ohio State Poisonous Nuts.  And to honor the champs, let’s sing a little song for them … We are the champions more or less.  And we’ll keep on fighting until the polls are in.  We are the champions kinda sorta.  We are the champions pretty much.  No time for losers unless it’s us with two losses.  Cause we are the champions of the College Football Bowl Subdivision (formerly known as Division 1-A) world.

And a note to the BCS … Enough with the Ohio State versus SEC matchups for the big crystal pig bladder.  Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.  Last year it was a Gator chompjob, this year a Bayou Bengal blowout.  We get it.  The Nuts are from the Big Ten.  They don’t have the speed.  They don’t play a tough enough schedule.  And Jim Tressel dresses like a CPA whose mom still picks out his clothes.  Meanwhile, LSU got all Cajun medieval on the poor Nuts breaking tackles and running wild in a way too Big Easy win.  Thanks for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
 
That’s a wrap … The end of Joe Gibbs Part II: The Phantom Menace as the legendary Skins coach packed in his comeback gig with a final tally of 31-36 and two short offs appearances in four seasons back in Fight For Old Dee Cee.  It had to have been a rough year for Joe especially with the tragic death of Sean Taylor and the pressure of a late-season run.  So rough in fact that Joe was willing to turn in his whistle and go back to running his NASCAR team.  In other words, instead of continuing his Hall of Fame NFL career, Joe would rather deal with Tony Stewart all over again.  I mean, when that starts to look like the easier choice, then you know he was having a hard time of it.
 
I’m sorry but I need an explanation here … June Jones left as head coach at the University of Hawaii for the same job at Southern Methodist.  He left Hawaii after a 12-1 Sugar Bowl dream season for the SMU Ponies who finished 1-11.  The same Ponies who still have not recovered from the death penalty the NC2A dropped on their helmets over 20 years ago.  The same Ponies who play in Conference USA.  The same conference whose champion plays in a bowl named for a company that repossesses cars.  Okay sure, Jones will now get $2 million a year instead of $1.6 mill.  But he left Honolulu for Dallas.  He left pineapple for pico de gallo, leis for lassos and surf babes for rodeo clowns.  Aloha means goodbye, coach.

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