Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …
 
Awfully nice of Patriots coach Bill Belichick to finally open up about Spygate.  In case you missed it, Belichick denied secretly taping the Rams’ walkthrough practice the day before Supe 36.  He went on to say that he doesn’t tape anybody’s walkthroughs.  In fact, Bill insisted he doesn’t even tape his own team’s walkthroughs.  Good one, Coach.  I mean, who needs footage of your own guys practicing at half speed.  After all, John Dillinger didn’t rob his own bank so why would you steal your own signals ???  Try again, please.
 
Ryan “Hello” Newman won Daytona with some generous bump draft help from Penske teammate Kurt Busch.  And in watching some of the post-race rundown, I couldn’t help notice that drivers typically mention their teammates by name but the other guys by car number.  As in “I needed Kurt’s help to get me past the 20.”  Or “We were in a three-wide with Tony on the left and the 24 on the right.”  Makes you wonder if they do this in real life too.  I mean, does Ryan Newman’s kid come home from trick-or-treating and say … “Well, I got Reese’s at the Drakes and Kit-Kats at the Bartletts but we didn’t stop at the 1150 or at the 1090 cause Billy heard they just got apples and raisins there.”
 
I know this is kinda old news but can the tennis chicks from behind The Curtain Formerly Known As Iron get any hotter ???  Anna Kournikova started this whole ex-Commie invasion 10 years ago but now it’s just a wave of one East European backhand babe after another.  Maria Sharapova, Ana Ivanovic, Nicole Vaidisova, Maria Kirilenko, Jelena Dokic, Elena Dementieva, Daniela Hantuchova and so on.  Seriously, where were all these hotties back in the days of Khrushchev and Brezhnev ???  Hell, if our NATO spies had told us the Warsaw Pact was holding this gene pool hostage, the Cold War would have ended a whole lot sooner.  Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall.
 
More NASCAR … Hey, race fans, are you tired of looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in too many faces ???  Well, come on over to www.meetmeattheraces.com … The first and foremost online dating site for gearheads looking for a little racin’ and some romancin’.  “If you love the smell of burning tires and the thunder of big NASCAR horsepower … If the smell of fresh exhaust turns you on … Then you’re in the right place.”   And don’t forget … If this RV is rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.   Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.

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Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …

There’s no need to fear, Underdog is here. And it’s about time too. For the first time in the 100-year history of the Westminster Dog Show, a beagle took Best In Show. Uno, a noisy 3-year-old champion and a huge crowd favorite, kicked major kibbles and bits at the top shelf show. This is good … The Westminster should reward regular breeds and cut back on all the frou-frou poodles and the other exotic toy dogs. Maybe next year they’ll really wise up and give it to a golden retriever named “Doobie” wearing a Grateful Dead bandanna with a wet frisbee in his mouth.

I still don’t understand why NASCAR touts the upcoming Daytona Five Hunnered as the Super Bowl of its long season. Okay, so it’s the richest and most coveted race on the schedule. And true, if you’re gonna start your season in February, the Florida coast blows doors off of New Hampshire or Michigan. But how can the first race of the season be the biggest and the best ??? I mean, if you follow that logic, why not just wave the checkered flag after the first lap and call it a day.

I am sorry to see HBO’s “Inside The NFL” show go puff daddy after 31 years but they have no one really to blame but themselves. Oh, the highlights were still superb. Nobody does game footage better than NFL Films. But this year, the one-hour show averaged about 27 minutes of highlights with many teams often left out altogether. The other 33 minutes ??? A painful mix of show host banter, meaningless predictions, fuzzy rumors and, worst of all, sappy human interest stories straight out of Oprah Central. I mean, really, as a sports fan, would you rather see Jon Kitna visit a children’s hospital wing or Jon Kitna throw four interceptions ???  The prosecution rests.

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Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …

Ain’t no flies on Looziana State, winner of the BCS Champeenship Game over *The* Ohio State Poisonous Nuts.  And to honor the champs, let’s sing a little song for them … We are the champions more or less.  And we’ll keep on fighting until the polls are in.  We are the champions kinda sorta.  We are the champions pretty much.  No time for losers unless it’s us with two losses.  Cause we are the champions of the College Football Bowl Subdivision (formerly known as Division 1-A) world.

And a note to the BCS … Enough with the Ohio State versus SEC matchups for the big crystal pig bladder.  Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.  Last year it was a Gator chompjob, this year a Bayou Bengal blowout.  We get it.  The Nuts are from the Big Ten.  They don’t have the speed.  They don’t play a tough enough schedule.  And Jim Tressel dresses like a CPA whose mom still picks out his clothes.  Meanwhile, LSU got all Cajun medieval on the poor Nuts breaking tackles and running wild in a way too Big Easy win.  Thanks for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
 
That’s a wrap … The end of Joe Gibbs Part II: The Phantom Menace as the legendary Skins coach packed in his comeback gig with a final tally of 31-36 and two short offs appearances in four seasons back in Fight For Old Dee Cee.  It had to have been a rough year for Joe especially with the tragic death of Sean Taylor and the pressure of a late-season run.  So rough in fact that Joe was willing to turn in his whistle and go back to running his NASCAR team.  In other words, instead of continuing his Hall of Fame NFL career, Joe would rather deal with Tony Stewart all over again.  I mean, when that starts to look like the easier choice, then you know he was having a hard time of it.
 
I’m sorry but I need an explanation here … June Jones left as head coach at the University of Hawaii for the same job at Southern Methodist.  He left Hawaii after a 12-1 Sugar Bowl dream season for the SMU Ponies who finished 1-11.  The same Ponies who still have not recovered from the death penalty the NC2A dropped on their helmets over 20 years ago.  The same Ponies who play in Conference USA.  The same conference whose champion plays in a bowl named for a company that repossesses cars.  Okay sure, Jones will now get $2 million a year instead of $1.6 mill.  But he left Honolulu for Dallas.  He left pineapple for pico de gallo, leis for lassos and surf babes for rodeo clowns.  Aloha means goodbye, coach.

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