Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …
The US Olympic Committee recently announced that, due to food safety concerns, our Olympic athletes will not be eating the food supplied in Beijing by this summer’s host, the Chinese. Instead, USOC will ship, store, prepare and serve its own meals at the team’s training tables. Naturally, China is a little miffed at this decision but so far there’s been no confirmation of rumors that General Tso is now refusing to make his chicken or that Happy Family will be moved from Column A to Column B on menus in the Village. Also left unsaid is whether the Chinese will follow through on their threat to have US fortune cookies changed from “You will achieve your goal” to ”You will lose in your event”.
From our “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” Department, the National Football League gave in last week to pressure from church groups and will now allow religious organizations to throw Super Bowls parties and show the big game live on big screen TV’s. Previously, the league insisted that their copyright stopped anyone but sports bars from showing it on large screens but now any church used on a “routine and customary” basis can show the Supe to its own flock too. So get ready for a flood of biblical proportions … The Church of My Next Door Neighbor’s Living Room … The Church of the Holy Bean Dip … The Church of St Vincent of Lombardi … The Church of the 16.7 Million Colors At 1920×1080 Pixel Resolution.
We have a new hero and his name is Keith Van Horn, forevermore an inspiration to all of us. You see, because of salary cap rules, NBA trades have become so complicated and so convoluted that teams often have to include dead money just to make the numbers add up. Van Horn retired two years ago but never filed his paperwork … And the only way his last team, the Mavericks, could trade with the Nets for Jason Kidd last week was to include Van Horn in the deal. Which is why Keith Van Horn inked a $4,000,000 contract to get on a plane to New Jersey, take a physical and then fly back home to resume not playing basketball. So why is he a hero ??? Simple. Next time Mrs Van Horn tells Keith he can’t expect to get paid just to sit around the house all day doing nothing, all Keith has to say is … Au contraire, my dear, au contraire.
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