Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports …

“The check is in the mail.” “I’ll respect you in the morning.” “No new taxes.” And now make room for a new entry on the list of all-time great lies. Drum roll, please … “I thought it was a B-12 shot.” Several ballplayers have tried this beauty before but now Roger “60 Minutes Man” Clemens is taking it out for a stroll too. Yes, the Mitchell Report is blatantly unfair to the players named in it but it snared one big flopping fish when Roger’s ex-trainer copped to shooting him up. And now that fish is gasping for airtime. Go on, Rog, we’re listening. Tick, tick, tick, tick …

Didja see that snowy outdoor hockey game in Buffalo between the Sabes and the Pens? If not, you missed a nice nostalgic nod to old school pond hockey. Maybe next year the NFL could do something like it too … First off, we’ll need to pave a field with asphalt between the hashmarks. Then parallel park a bunch of old cars along both sidelines leaving a few gaps in between cars for down-and-out routes. No uniforms and no pads … Just school clothes and gym shoes. And no playbooks or game plans either. Every play is “Everybody go long” and pass rush is strictly enforced by the “Three Mississippi” system. Penalty is three cars and automatic do over. No exceptions. Not even for the guy who brought the football.

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